GRACE TO SUFFER FOR
CHRIST
A template for
marriage
1 Peter 3:1-7
Jerry A Collins
SCC
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Is marriage 50-50 or 100-100 percent?
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Why should a wife submit to her husband?
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How can a Husband live in an understanding way
with his wife?
Once again, the Bible speaks to
us about the subject of marriage. It is not a 50-50 proposition but 100 percent
a wife being a wife and 100 percent a husband being a husband. There is no
distinction between men and women in the body of Christ—Galatians
1. A WIFE LIVES IN SUBMISSION TO HER HUSBAND REVEALING HER TRUE BEAUTY
AND ATTRACTIVENESS 1-6
A wife lives in submission to her husband 1-2 One of the biggest
differences between a girl and a woman is how they view the commands of God.
Because submission is something commanded by God, a wife should view her
obedience to her husband in relation to God. Husbands really have nothing to do
with it other than the fact that he is the recipient of you pursuing a right
relationship with God. If a girl has learned her responsibility to submit to
God, parents, spiritual leaders and govt, early in
life, she will not find submission to her husband difficult to accept. This
command does not require women to submit to men in general but to their own husbands as a function of order
within the home. Even in scenarios where a believing wife lives with her unbelieving
husband she is not free to not be submissive. The promise and hope is that he
may be won to the faith through her behavior. That behavior is described as
‘chaste’—she is not a flirt. Her behavior is also ‘respectful’ vs 2. Her ways
and not her words is the key to her
influence. She does not attempt to seduce or manipulate her husband; to
cleverly control his decisions or reactions. Not behavior that is talkative but
tactful ‘won without words’. Her submission then, gives her the opportunity to
reveal a virtuous and respectful character.
Her submission reflects the quality of her spirit 3-5 Submission is
an adornment to women reflecting the quality of her spirit.
Verse 3 On the positive
side, Abigail was both ‘intelligent and beautiful’ 1 Sam 25:3. On the negative,
Jez ‘painted her eyes and adorned her head’ 1 Kgs
Verse 5-6 The spirit
which underlines her submission is crucial. Submission reflects her strength
not her weakness. Great examples of godly submissive wives were those who
submitted because they hoped in God not in their husbands. If you hope in God
you will never be disappointed. If you hope in yourself you will be frustrated.
If you hope in others you may despair. Sarah is an example of hope in God. She,
Peter notes, is the best example of submission because she understood it’s meaning and significance from God’s point of view.
Rather than shying away from her responsibility to her husband, she emphasized
it, by calling him her master. This is not something weak women do. It takes
strength of character to give up the desire to rule your husband. It can be
very frightening to obey rather than control, to submit rather than rule. But
that is what God commands you to do. And this is what Peter meant when he said ‘…you have become her children if you do
what is right without being frightened by any fear’ vs
6. Abe had many strange and fearful things God called him to do. He also did
some very foolish and sinful things all on his own. But Peter says she
submitted and becomes an example of that for wives even today.
2. A HUSBAND DECIDES TO PLACE HIS WIFE AHEAD OF EVERYTHING AND
EVERYBODY 7
Almost like a footnote, husbands
cannot just be passed by. There are four things to keep in mind:
1. Dwell together with your wives. To remain in
the marriage and live with her not apart from her. She is your ministry
and she is your priority. Dwell together with your wives not your vocation and
not even your children. So marriage becomes a high-risk,
irreversible, permanent decision by a husband to place a wife ahead of
everything for the rest of our lives together. Establishing
a household together.
2. Dwell according to knowledge. It is not nearly enough to just
endure a marriage but dwelling with her ‘with understanding’. It is knowledge
gained about her—her spiritual, emotional, physical needs. Becoming
a student of her and spending the rest of your days together becoming worthy of
her submission—making it less arduous for her to submit. That means
learning and applying all the expectations God has for you as a husband. A
husband never has an excuse to not know his wife. Marriage is not just an
arrangement it is an investment. Husbands always learning—not ignorant. Becoming a husband is
the most stretching thing a man can do.
3. Dwell with her as a weaker partner. This may allude to the physical differences between
women and men—but may point to the weakness of role she has in the
relationship. Submitting in the relationship places her in a position of
vulnerability. She can easily be taken advantage of or exploited or unloved—God
never condones this.
4. Dwell together as a fellow believer. Your wife is first your sister in Christ. She is not
my personal property. She is God’s child and all I have done is taken on more
responsibility not to just be a man but before God to become a husband. But I
do that in the context of our relationship together with Jesus Christ. I grant
her that honor. That relationship takes precedence over all others. She has the
HS and a disciple.
1.
There is no such thing as mutual submission—else there is no submission since
no-one in the relationship has the authority. There can be mutual agreements
but God has given the husband the headship responsibility he must fulfill to
God.
2.
Both the husband and wife are responsible to God but neither are responsible
for the others responsibility
3.
Husbands must establish a rela with his wife that
creates a new household. Not one interfered with by the church, parents,
friends or each other but together. Be a student of your wife—what makes for
good relationships; what specific things make her happy, grumpy, hurt, insecure; how your relas with your
parents effects your wife.