A STUDY OF WISE LIVING FROM THE BOOK OF PROVERBS
Watch out for deadly seduction
Proverbs 5 SCC 7/12/15
1. God’s direction to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28) may be the only command we have ever kept. But that is not all we have done with our sex drive. Sex does not just fill the earth with children of married couples. Sex produces gossip, arguments, divorce, depression, suicide, murder, and rape. Sex causes unwanted pregnancies, unwanted affairs, and unwanted social situations which lead to all kinds of other sins like bitterness, hatred, malice, and revenge. Unbridled sexual urges have brought exploitation, captivity, abuse, and shame. These sexual urges have led to incest, fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and prostitution—all of which are condemned in the Bible.
2. Sexual immorality is discussed with stern warnings in both Testaments. For example, Paul told the Corinthians: Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body (1 Cor 6:16-18).
3. Chapters 5-9 of Proverbs have probably the most extensive warnings in the Bible against sexual immorality of the sexual revolution. From the massive amount of text dedicated to this, we can see that Solomon saw this as a crucial issue in training his son.
Why did Solomon only address the dangers of an adulterous woman preying upon a naïve young man? Why does he not address a man pursuing a woman, since that seems to be more common?
1. Solomon is not addressing his daughters but son’s v 1, 7, 20. His warnings for daughters would be the same as far as the dangers of illicit sex. But it seems that girls were to be educated in the context of the home. They would move from the care of their fathers to the care of there husbands when they married. A boy’s education began at home but moved out to the streets of the city.
2. Solomon seems to be talking about his parenting of an older child, a young adult. Since girls were usually under the care of parents and not out at night or otherwise available for illicit sex (as they often are today), male illicit sexual aggression toward godly girls was not very likely.
3. When a young man thought of sex with a young virgin, that was a form of romance, which ended in marriage sex, not illicit sex.
4. If a married man wanted to pursue another unmarried woman, he would simply take her as an additional wife. Solomon had 700 of them. (Admittedly, that was a bit much and it had devastating consequences for him and the nation of Israel).
5. Solomon is presenting the need for wisdom among young men. So the focus is on the naïve not the sexual aggressor. It is the naïve fool, not the wicked aggressor, who is addressed here.
WARNING: SEXUAL SEDUCTION IS DEADLY 1-6
One needs to exercise discretion about sex and sexuality 1-2
Here is the appeal for his sons giving attention to wisdom and inclining one’s ear to understanding related to sexual seduction v 1. These traits are basic to obtaining discretion and knowledge about sexual seduction v 2. Sexual immorality is contrary to wisdom. It goes against the way we were made.
Wisdom is essential to avoid the destructive appeal of Sexual Seduction 3-6
Verse 3: Every illicit sexual encounter will be the most pleasing at the start. Her words are flattering—they draw excitement and delight like dripping honey and smooth oils. This allurement motivates the potential rendezvous. The warning assumes the son is married or about to be so.
Verse 4: Sexual seduction and its immoral outcome feel good but leads to ruin. As it progresses, it produces less and less pleasure and more and more problems. There is corruption under the adulteress’ charm. The sweetness turns to bitterness. The flattery concealed it for a time.
Verse 5-6: The intensity of the sexual (romantic) pleasure continues until it can no longer accommodate the problems it is cultivating. The seductress’ pathway leads to death v 5. She does not even know how unstable her life is v 6. Only the wise have enough sense to understand that it will destroy them.
WARNING: PREVENT THE RUIN AND REGRET OF SEXUAL SEDUCTION 7-14
One needs to stay clear of the seductress 7-8
Here is another appeal for his sons to listen and apply warnings about sexual seduction. The only way to fight sexual immorality is to not go near it. A possible application is other than your spouse, don’t flirt with, counsel with, socialize with, travel with, or be alone with someone of the opposite sex. This deterrent is warranted due to the folly of sexual immorality—it is the path of ruin.
Compliance with wisdom spares one from utter ruin and remorse 9-14
Verse 9-10: Consorting with an adulteress robs one of health and prosperity v 9. One’s vigor is sapped. One’s ‘years’—the best years in the prime of life—is lost. One’s wealth—the produce of hard labor family fortune—disappears taken by her. The price of infidelity can be personally and financially devastating.
Verse 11: The outcome is such deep remorse described as groaning about what you have gotten yourself into. At this point there is no possibility to recover the loss. Flesh and body are consumed with regret—your entire personage is exhausted with grief.
Verses 12-14: This crescendos’ into regrettable remorse. One has lost everything of value because wisdom was ignored and set aside. Now comes a long litany of ‘if onlys’. The condemned conscience realizes too late that instruction was hated; reproof was spurned; and teachers were ignored v 12-13. Yet if one listens and heeds he can be spared this utter ruin v 14. This is the key. You must own wisdom as it will spare one from this scenario.
ADVICE: FIND SEXUAL SATISFACTION AT HOME IN YOUR MARRIAGE 15-23
Avoid carousing with the seductress 15-17
Verse 15: Sex in marriage enables people to avoid temptation. Enjoy sexual relations with your marriage partner and become sexually satisfied with each other. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband 1 Cor 7:1-2. Find satisfaction with one’s own wife not the seductress v 16. Why go there?
Verse 16-17: Here is a contrast between a wife and a seductress. The images of a cistern and well used of a wife reveal that she like this water satisfies desires. The imagery means the wife is to be a source of true pleasure no an everyday instrument of mere physical satisfaction. The seductress is like channels of water running in the streets v 16. This lewd lady does not stay at home but in the streets the property of many lovers. The point of the contrast is the young man exhausting his sexual energy at home rather than in the street giving himself to the strange seductress who has no regard for God’s design in sex and marriage.
Exhaust sexual energy at home in marriage 18-19
Verse 18: The only proper place for sexual or romantic notions is with the wife of your youth. This does not say that your spouse will satisfy you. It’s a determination you must make to make yourself satisfied with your spouse. Proverbs teaches marriage as monogamous, contracted early, and then maintained throughout life.
Verse 19: If you like graphics you will enjoy this verse—it is graphic. Intimacy in marriage is meant to be a captivating force for the husband. The picture of a ‘doe’ and ‘deer’ and the satisfaction of her breasts indicate how a husband is captivated by the exquisite gracefulness of a loving wife. The sexual relationship between them is meant to be intoxicating enough to fulfill sexual desires.
NB: Same-sex marriage cannot be forced into the Bible because monogamous marriage between a man and a woman is embedded in it. No amount of stomping or pushing or shoving can make the Bible accommodate same sex marriage. Neither can you extract monogamous male female marriage out of the Bible. To do so would shred it completely so lodged is this concept within its teaching. Sexuality, marriage, family, child rearing, matriarchy and patriarchy all are monogamous male/female based. Pontificating from the white house, legislating from congress, announcements from the supreme court or popularity in the streets cannot change this.
Unbridled sexual gratification ensnares and destroys 20-23
Verse 20: Here is a third specific reference to Solomon’s sons to listen to common sense. In view of the divine plan to contain sexual activity within marital love, it is folly to do so outside of it. These brief liaisons provide no time for this kind of intimacy. That requires a lifelong bonding with the wife of one’s youth son.
Verse 21: Here is some theology to consider. God observes all our ways, and that includes the paths, which lead us to sexual immorality. No matter how well you conceal sin, nothing is concealed from God. Anyone who does not factor in God’s omniscience has no fear of God and will get entangled in sin—its baggage and consequences.
Verse 22-23: Here is what you can expect—if the young man is not captivated by his wife v 18 and instead is captivated with a seductress sexually v 3, then his own iniquities will captivate him and he will be led to ruin and folly. Judgment is inevitable in one form or another. The one who plays with this sin will become ensnared and led to utter ruin. A lack of control of sexual gratification places you on a collision course with God’s justice.
1. Our sexual urges are perverted by the Fall of Adam and Eve and need to be brought under control within clearly defined biblical boundaries. Marriage of a man and woman is that boundary. The only ‘safe sex’ biblically is sex with a your marriage partner.
2. Sex within marriage is appropriate. Any sexual activity that deviates from God’s revealed will in the Bible is wrong. That would include premarital sex, extramarital sex, homosexuality, incest, and bestiality, or cohabitation, fornication, and adultery—in other words, sexual practices outside of a lifelong marriage of a man and a woman.
3. Avoid sexual stimulation. Avoid being alone with the opposite sex. Become sexually satisfied with your marriage partner. There is nothing easy about it! But understand—if you don’t control your sex drive, it will destroy you. Remember Joseph’s response to Potiphar’s wife was to flee (Genesis 39:7-12). Remember Solomon’s counsel to his sons!